A Steamed Potato
by Irimi-chan
Summary: Kazama takes to steamed potatoes like Jin does to rice crackers. However, he isn't half as generous... but Tachikawa doesn't know that. Uh oh...
It was not very well known throughout Border that Kazama liked steamed potatoes. However, if Kazama ever brought a small plastic bag with steam rising off it, the people who knew him would stay far, far away from the bag. The reason for this was because every single time, no matter what, if the bag was there, so was a potato. And if anything ever happened to the potato, Kazama would storm up to the control room and demand that the operator let him check over all of the files in the past hour, and hunt down the perpetrator.

Kazama usually brought a steamed potato, wrapped carefully in foil and put in a plastic bag, on Mondays and Fridays. It would always be freshly steamed and about two thousand degrees to the touch, and would sit, cooling, on the table in their team room while Kazama and his team trained. When Kazama got back, it would have cooled enough for him to eat. His teammates had learned early on to never mess with the potato, ever.

One Friday, though, Tachikawa had been wandering around the HQ, bored out of his mind, as Izumi was absent with a cold, and Yuiga and Kunichika were playing a random video game that he sucked at (not that he would admit it for the world). That was when he decided to poke his head into random A-Rank team rooms and asking if anybody wanted to have a mock battle with him.

Arashiyama Unit was absent, as expected, what with training and their TV and PR schedule, they hardly had time to relax when they were on-duty. Kako Unit was in the middle of some important discussion when Tachikawa walked in (without knocking, naturally). All Tachikawa heard was Shuun's name before Futaba noticed him, colored up, and aimed a side kick at Tachikawa's face. That was when he got his hint that he wasn't welcomed, and backed hurriedly out of the room.

 _Which team should I check on next,_ Tachikawa mused to himself as he walked rapidly away, congratulating himself on surviving his brief encounter with the fearsome girl.

Fuyushima Unit was having a mock battle with Kusakabe Unit, and Miwa bluntly denied Tachikawa's challenge of a four-against-one match. Tachikawa got lost somewhere on the way to Katagiri unit and gave up, and went instead to search for Kazama and his team.

Unfortunately, as Tachikawa barged into their empty team room, he noticed a white plastic bag that was smoking. Walking over to investigate, he found an object wrapped in foil, and, because he had absolutely zero manners, unwrapped it out of curiosity.

"Hmmm... a potato..." Tachikawa said aloud, holding it up in the air for inspection. He was not one of the people blessed with the knowledge that if you touched Kazama's potato, you were inviting hell onto yourself- so he shrugged and took a bite out of it.

"Better eat it before it gets cold. I'll be doing the owner a favor, anyways, so they don't have to eat a cold potato."

As this questionable logic ran through the (slightly idiotic) number one attacker's head, Kazama Unit was just finishing up their daily training. As Tachikawa took the last bite of potato, Kazama and his team walked in.

"Tachikawa-san. What are you doing here?" Kazama asked. Tachikawa smiled.

"Soya! Do you want to have a mock battle? Your team against me-"

"No, thanks. We just finished training." Kikuchihara said. Kazama and Utagawa nodded. "Sorry, Tachikawa-san."

"Ahh, c'mon!"

"No." everybody else said in unison.

Suddenly, Kazama noticed the empty plastic bag, and a wad of foil on the table. His red eyes narrowed, and he swiveled to face Tachikawa.

"Tachikawa-san," Kazama said, his voice low and a dark aura began forming around him. "Did you eat a potato recently?" Tachikawa turned to see the murderous expression on the teen's face.

"U-uh, no, I didn't! The bag was already like this when I came in!" Tachikawa lied hastily. "Honest!"

"His heart rate has sped up considerably." Kikuchihara said in his monotone voice.

"Tell me the truth, Tachikawa- _san._ " Kazama growled. "Or I'll send Utagawa to check the security cameras."

Tachikawa sighed, as he saw the entire Kazama unit prepare for a battle over the steamed potato. "...yeah, I ate it." he admitted. "But it was a good potato!" He added. That was the last straw. Kazama's eyes lit up with a burning anger, and he leaped at Tachikawa.

"Ahhhh!" Tachikawa yelped and raced out of the room.

"Get back here, Tachikawa-san," Kazama snapped, racing after him. His teammates looked at each other, shrugged, and sighed.

"We'll get demoted if our captain kills the number one attacker," Kikuchihara reasoned. Utagawa nodded, and they reluctantly ran after their captain.

They found Tachikawa being strangled by Kazama on the second floor. A pair of C-Rankers were pulling ineffectually at the spiky-haired teen's arms, but Kazama was unshakable. His red eyes glared at Tachikawa's grey ones.

"If you eat my potato, I won't just choke you in your Trion body. I'll do it in real life," the pissed off teen hissed. Tachikawa stared at Kazama in fear. The expression on his face was one that promised death and revenge, for his stolen potato. As Tachikawa's Trion body melted away from lack of air, Kazama stayed still, an arm still pinned against Tachikawa's throat as the smoke from the evaporated Trion body rolled over them. Before Kazama could do anything to permanently harm Tachikawa's real body, his teammates jumped forward as the smoke cleared, dragging the fuming teen away.

"Sorry, Tachikawa-san," Utagawa apologized on behalf of his captain as they dragged Kazama away, "He almost killed Midorikawa for doing the same thing, too."

Tachikawa stood up, rubbing his neck. "Is he always that scary when he's mad?" Utagawa and Kikuchihara nodded in unison. Meanwhile, the subject of their conversation was struggling against his teammates, still trying to get at Tachikawa's throat.

"Run," Kikuchihara advised, "We can't hold on to him forever."

Tachikawa didn't hesitate. Turning around, he ran as fast as possible away from them, wailing for Jin to save him all the while.

* * *

 _ **To those of you who read my other fic, World Trigger Ships, this fic is basically what happens while Jin's on the roof alone. Also... I might have exaggerated Kazama's reaction a little too much xD** **But the thought of a cute, pissed off Kazama sent me over to the edge of insane writer mode, I guess?**_


End file.
